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we entered, was opening with a hammer a new case full of
boots.
George raised his hat, and said “Good morning.”
The man did not even turn round. He said something which
was perhaps “Good morning” and went on with his work.
George said: “I have been recommended to your shop by my
friend, Mr. X.”
The answer to this in the book was “Mr. X. is a worthy
gentleman; it will give me the greatest
pleasure to serve a friend
of his.”
What the man said was: “Don’t know him; never heard of
him.”
This was not the answer we expected. The book gave three
or four methods of buying boots; George had selected the most
polite of them centred round “Mr. X.” You talked with the shop
keeper about this “Mr. X.” and then
you began to speak about
your desire to buy boots, “cheap and good.” But it was necessary
to come to business with brutal directness. George left “Mr. X,”
and turning back to a previous page, took another sentence. It
was not a good selection; it was useless to make such a speech
to any bootmaker, and especially in a bootshop full of boots.
George said: “One has told me that you have here boots for
sale.”
For the first time
the man put down his hammer, and looked
at us. He spoke slowly. He said: “What do you think I keep
boots for — to smell them?”
He was one of those men that begin quietly and get more
angry as they go on.
“What do you think I am,” he continued, “a boot collector?
What do you think I’m keeping this shop for — my health? Do
you
think I love the boots, and can’t part with a pair? Do you
think I hang them about here to look at them? Where do you
think you are — in an international exhibition of boots? What
do you think these boots are — a historical collection? Did you
ever hear of a man keeping a boot shop and not selling boots?
Do you think I decorate the shop with them? What do you think
I am — a prize idiot?”
I have always said that these conversation books are practi
cally useless. We could not find the right answer in the book
from beginning to end. I must say
that George chose the best
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sentence that was there and used it. He said: “I shall come again,
when, perhaps, you have more boots to show me. Till then,
goodbye.”
With that we went out. George wanted to stop at another
boot shop and try the experiment once more; he said he really
wanted a pair of bedroom slippers.
But we advised him to buy
them another time.
(After Jerome K. Jerome)
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